Summer's Journal: Fourth Entry

Today my mother told me something that greatly upset me. She told me that I should tell my father about Chris. She didn’t say why, but she told me to tell him. I cannot tell my father. If I tell him, he’ll forbid me to see Chris. She has to understand that. She should understand that. They have a common law marriage. They are in love. She has to know that he will stop it.

Chris didn’t ask him if he could date me. I was rash when I told him yes. I should have told him about my father. I should have told him what he was getting into. I should have said No. I don’t want him hurt. I want him to be safe.

I don’t know what to do.

If I tell my father, he’ll want to do something to Chris. But if I don’t tell him, I will hurt my father’s feelings. I love my father. I just don’t know what to do.

My cell-phone rang. In the hall of the mountain king echoed through my silent room. I answered it. I didn’t look at the ID I knew who it was.

“Hello,” I said softly. “Hey Summer,” he responded, “How are you today?” I paused, “Not well, Chris. Tell me everything is okay, I’m just a silly stupid girl.” He quickly tried to shush me, “You’re not stupid or silly. Everything will be okay. Now tell me what’s wrong.” I paused, taking a deep breath in, was I crying? “Chris. My mother wants me to tell my father about you.” He paused.

I took a deep breath Chris, talk to me. “Tell him,” he said after another moment. I choked on a sob, “Chris. You don’t understand.” He said immediately, “Tell him Summer, the longer you put it off, the worse it will be.” I spoke softly, “Do you want me to?” He spoke, “Don’t be like that. I want you to do what you need to do, I was just suggesting.” I didn’t know what he meant, don’t be like that, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” he said matching my tone, “Summer don’t change the subject.” I visibly nodded, although it was stupid of me. He was on the phone and couldn’t see it, so I verbally replied in soft tones, weak tones, “Okay.” He said sharply, “Don’t be like that. Stop.” I verbally spoke, “Okay.”

“Summer, I just wanted to talk to you, I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?” I paused a little hurt, “Okay Chris, I…uh…” He paused, “You?” I couldn’t tell him, not yet, “I want you to have sweet dreams.” He spoke, “I love you too.” The phone clicked. I looked at my cell phone.

How did he know that’s what I wanted to say?

Did he mean it? If he did, why didn’t he say, “Summer, I love you too.” How many other people had he told, “I love you too” to?

All I know is, I love him, and its useless to deny it.
-Dawn