Summer's Journal: Twentieth Entry
Chris held me, which was all I really wanted. I wanted him to hold me. I separated myself from Brendan. Was it his fault? It wasn’t even clear anymore. I can re-read again, and again, the thoughts that went on in my head in appropriate order, in whole exactness. No words to sweeten them, nothing.
Chronicling my life in a journal, like my mother did before me, because its hard to keep straight the thoughts that occurred first, and what I was thinking whilst I look back on it. Because I am writing this, knowing exactly what Chris and I talked about after he held me, but my thoughts melded, and I know it was my fault.
It was my fault, I was to blame, read this world, and I take the blame.
Chris noticed immediately something was wrong. The first thing was, I didn’t come to school with Brendan, which I do every morning. The second thing that gave it away was my makeup, the mask of my moods. Instead of being fined and exact it was random, and chaotic. My eyebrow penciling was wild, and the tribal tattoos reflected black blades dipped in blood.
He seemed afraid of me at first. I watched his eyes as they scanned my face, and he noticed how dark my makeup was. He reacted in kind, he quietly followed me. I didn’t want him to follow and be quiet, I wanted him to speak, I wanted him to tell me everything would be okay, and that it wasn’t my fault.
So he held me, I had yet to speak a word, and so did he. Were we communicating on a different level? “So,” he said after a long while, “What happened on All Souls day?” I was shocked, how did he know it was that specific day? “How much blood did you drink?” I pulled away from him.
“It was my own,” I said shortly and with temper towards him, “How the hell do you…” “Summer,” he said assuredly, “I can’t pretend to know what its like. But what happened?”
I told him. It would make little sense to repeat the whole of the day’s events here. “So what really happened?” I looked in shock at him, “How dare you?” He blinked heavily, “Summer, your uncle didn’t come to you with red in his eyes, and hit you without reason. Brendan wouldn’t feel the need to hold you down, without reason? What are you not telling me?” I hung my head low, “I…” “Summer,” he said knowingly. I re-explained it to him, using an almost exact same story of my previous Journal entry.
He didn’t understand, I could see it in his eyes, and my mood was upsetting him, so I tried to smile and joke about it, “It can’t be that bad to have a girlfriend who likes to be in control of the situation, is it?” He didn’t laugh. I frowned, “Chris, please… say something.”
“Summer, I…” I looked at him, “You?” “I think you were wrong. I’m sorry. But look at it from their point of view. You were letting your powers take control of you. You were prepared to kill innocents for more zombies. You were using magic just so you could drink blood. Summer, I’m sorry.”
I was angry. He was supposed to agree with me. I stood, and stormed off. It was halfway between the building and where Chris was, that I realized, I was wrong, and they were right.
I ran back to him, he was crying. Why was he crying? I leapt onto him, tackling him to the ground. I laid next to him and kissed his neck, like my Aunt Page does to my Uncle Rapier when she is wrong. I kissed it again and again, “I’m sorry Chris… I’m so sorry…”
He began to laugh. Tears filled my eyes and threatened to fall, he was laughing at me, “I was about to come after you, and tell you the same thing,” he said, “It’s funny,” I smiled a little.
“Chris, thank you, for listening to me, and telling me I was wrong… I was very angry at my family.” “That’s what I’m here for,” he responded. I smiled and leaned up to Kiss him.
“Hey Babydoll,” Brendan said to me, I huffed and I looked at Brendan, “Yes?” “You feeling better?” “Yes, I’m sorry?” “Hey,” Brendan said, “Its not your fault dead people get you all excited.”
I shoved on him, “Brendan!” I screamed, I stormed away from him. Chris was laughing lightly. I turned around and stormed back to Brendan, and shoved him, “And don’t call me babydoll!” Chris laughed at Brendan. It wasn’t funny…
Okay… Maybe a little, but that’s not something you tell someone! And it’s not my fault! I’m half damned vampire, and a full necromancer. Gawd!
-Dawn
Chronicling my life in a journal, like my mother did before me, because its hard to keep straight the thoughts that occurred first, and what I was thinking whilst I look back on it. Because I am writing this, knowing exactly what Chris and I talked about after he held me, but my thoughts melded, and I know it was my fault.
It was my fault, I was to blame, read this world, and I take the blame.
Chris noticed immediately something was wrong. The first thing was, I didn’t come to school with Brendan, which I do every morning. The second thing that gave it away was my makeup, the mask of my moods. Instead of being fined and exact it was random, and chaotic. My eyebrow penciling was wild, and the tribal tattoos reflected black blades dipped in blood.
He seemed afraid of me at first. I watched his eyes as they scanned my face, and he noticed how dark my makeup was. He reacted in kind, he quietly followed me. I didn’t want him to follow and be quiet, I wanted him to speak, I wanted him to tell me everything would be okay, and that it wasn’t my fault.
So he held me, I had yet to speak a word, and so did he. Were we communicating on a different level? “So,” he said after a long while, “What happened on All Souls day?” I was shocked, how did he know it was that specific day? “How much blood did you drink?” I pulled away from him.
“It was my own,” I said shortly and with temper towards him, “How the hell do you…” “Summer,” he said assuredly, “I can’t pretend to know what its like. But what happened?”
I told him. It would make little sense to repeat the whole of the day’s events here. “So what really happened?” I looked in shock at him, “How dare you?” He blinked heavily, “Summer, your uncle didn’t come to you with red in his eyes, and hit you without reason. Brendan wouldn’t feel the need to hold you down, without reason? What are you not telling me?” I hung my head low, “I…” “Summer,” he said knowingly. I re-explained it to him, using an almost exact same story of my previous Journal entry.
He didn’t understand, I could see it in his eyes, and my mood was upsetting him, so I tried to smile and joke about it, “It can’t be that bad to have a girlfriend who likes to be in control of the situation, is it?” He didn’t laugh. I frowned, “Chris, please… say something.”
“Summer, I…” I looked at him, “You?” “I think you were wrong. I’m sorry. But look at it from their point of view. You were letting your powers take control of you. You were prepared to kill innocents for more zombies. You were using magic just so you could drink blood. Summer, I’m sorry.”
I was angry. He was supposed to agree with me. I stood, and stormed off. It was halfway between the building and where Chris was, that I realized, I was wrong, and they were right.
I ran back to him, he was crying. Why was he crying? I leapt onto him, tackling him to the ground. I laid next to him and kissed his neck, like my Aunt Page does to my Uncle Rapier when she is wrong. I kissed it again and again, “I’m sorry Chris… I’m so sorry…”
He began to laugh. Tears filled my eyes and threatened to fall, he was laughing at me, “I was about to come after you, and tell you the same thing,” he said, “It’s funny,” I smiled a little.
“Chris, thank you, for listening to me, and telling me I was wrong… I was very angry at my family.” “That’s what I’m here for,” he responded. I smiled and leaned up to Kiss him.
“Hey Babydoll,” Brendan said to me, I huffed and I looked at Brendan, “Yes?” “You feeling better?” “Yes, I’m sorry?” “Hey,” Brendan said, “Its not your fault dead people get you all excited.”
I shoved on him, “Brendan!” I screamed, I stormed away from him. Chris was laughing lightly. I turned around and stormed back to Brendan, and shoved him, “And don’t call me babydoll!” Chris laughed at Brendan. It wasn’t funny…
Okay… Maybe a little, but that’s not something you tell someone! And it’s not my fault! I’m half damned vampire, and a full necromancer. Gawd!
-Dawn
posted by Summer Dawn O'Ciardha at 10:28 AM
2 Comments:
Babydoll? I can well imagine you don't like that.
Probably better than "bunny" or "schmoopie."
Post a Comment
<< Home