Summer's Journal: Thirty-Eighth Entry

Lets start with yesterday. I woke up, and I found my bed had become decrepit. Which means during the night I had a nightmare. I don’t know what it was, but whatever it was, I cast a spell to fight it. And the spell hit my bed. Rather then deal with it, I just made the mattress into a pile of dust.

I went to the next room over, and grabbed a mattress of that bed, and I dragged it and threw it onto mine. I got a shower, and I slipped and hit my head on the back of the wall. I climbed out of the bathtub, more angry now then before.

I put on my makeup. I was out of eye shadow, so I had to wake my mother up to steal hers. I was late, and Brendan went to school without me. That hurt too. Had my mind, put everything together, I would have seen what would happen to me today.

But I didn’t. Classes were terrible. I couldn’t even pay attention. I wanted to spend lunch crying to Brendan. I could and would forgive him for the morning; I’d have left me too, if I cared about school like he does.

At Lunch I sat down at a table and I waited for Brendan, when he walked over to me, he seemed beat, he didn’t get much sleep. I could tell. I asked him what was going on, he spoke about a girl in his dreams.

I should’ve taken that as a sign too. I got shivers, and a girl came up to us. She was wearing a façade, I could tell. She was doing what I do, except with something else. She was dressed as a demure want to be librarian. She had golden brown hair, and these weird blue eyes. She wore horn rimmed glasses, and she dressed two levels above normal dress for high school.

Her name is Sarah. Brendan dreams about her late at night. She asks him to leave his family to come with her. I treated her as civily as possible for me, facing someone with a façade and wearing one of my own.

She spoke with me, and through the rough day I had, I honestly do not remember how the conversation. I know I scared her. I was glad I scared her. But the straw came with this, “Brendan, do you want to walk with me?”

“Sure,” he said, “Be back later cuz.”

I don’t know if anyone reading this can associate this feeling with themselves. But I felt my heart die a little. I needed Brendan. I needed him to listen to me cry. It seems stupid. It seems childish and self centered. I needed him to be with me.

“Brendan,” I spoke, my tone was all he needed to hear. He froze, “Actually, I promised my cousin I would sit with her, her boyfriend is off doing a project, want to join us?” Say No. She sat down.

I put on an even faker façade and made myself seem interested in her. Her last name is Mortia. It has latin roots in death. Open your eyes Brendan! She whispered into my cousin’s ear, his mood changed instantly. He pulled me aside, he cursed at me, “What the hell man? You’re making her uncomfortable, that isn’t right.”

I told him, what her last name meant, I told him I thought the shivers were focused on her. He began to yell at me for treating her badly. I did nothing to her. I did kick Brendan’s shin, only to get his attention.

I yelled at him back. He told me something, it caused me to feel bad. But I don’t know. I still felt betrayed, “I want her to like me,” he said, “I need her to like me.” Our argument turned harsh. I yelled at him, when he was at his weakest, most vulnerable. I made fun of how he could juggle fifteen girls.

He told me, I was one to talk, me who didn’t need anyone but myself. I gave up. I didn’t want him to hate me. For one of the only times in my life, I hung my head low. I turned it to the side so he could see the white flesh of my neck, “I’m Sorry.” I spoke.

He then told me it was his fault. That only made me more angry at him. He didn’t accept my apology, and then he asked for me to accept his, “Yes Brendan, I am going for a walk.”

“Hey are we alright?” He asked. No Brendan, not right now, “Yes Brendan, I have to go, I’m like my dad.”

I gathered my things, and I took off. I went storming by the bleachers. “You look extraordinarily rushed,” spoke a voice from behind me. I turned and I looked at him. He was a punk, he sat in a relaxed and cool position on the bleachers.

“What are you running away from, dhampir?” “I’m not dhampir.” “But are you not part vampire? Albeit a strong strand or else you would burn in sunlight…” “How do you know all this?” “I can tell, the way you smell… The way you move, so graceful…”
It lead to me saying, the classic, “I have a boyfriend, he’ll beat you up.” He shrugged, “You could probably beat me up, I’m fairly weak. But not as weak of those filthy mages.”

It shouldn’t have hurt me as bad as it did, but it stung, I am a mage. I always thought I was strong. Capable of defending myself. He then moved on, to feeding. He asked me if I knew what it was like. What little experience I had with it, I… I… I enjoyed. But I didn’t want him to know that, “You’re trying to trick me.” “Into what?” I found out his name was Isaac. He said something that still haunts me, as I write this now.

“Don’t you love when you feed?” he asked, “Its so amazing. The flow of energy and strength that comes…” After he said that, he continued to speak to me, I yelled at him and I left. I sat beneath my tree, and his voice kept coming back.

I stood and went to storm back to Brendan. I wanted him and I to destroy this guy. As I walked by, he said, “Back so soon?” He asked me. My response was very vulgar. His was the same in kind. I had enough of it, I ran up the bleachers, and I laid my fists into him. All of my blows landed, and had no affect on him.

“Wow, you need some blood, I am not feeling a thing.” He stood, and then he laid a hand on my shoulder, and shoved me. It was so strong, I was so weak, I fell backwards. I landed on my lower neck the first stair, the I popped my arm out of place on the second, and the third I dislocated my knee, the fourth I broke an arm, my ribs snapped on the fifth, and on the sixth, I hit my nose, blood spurted out.

The bottom was the worst, I laid there with a thick, dull, heavy thudding pain all about my body. My tear flowed freely. He walked down, “Are you okay? I barely shoved you. Look, I’m going to go-“ That was all I heard before my eyes closed, and my ears shut off.

The next thing I remember if Brendan cradling me close to him, begging and pleading me to get up, crying on my broken form. All I could say was, “I need Aurora.”

That night, last night, Brendan and Chris snuck into my house and Chris needed to see I was okay. Brendan had left my side around nine, after my dad’s medicine made the pain go away. Still, in all the pain, thinking like a normal girl overruled, and I didn’t want Chris to see me because of how broken I was.

Everyone though I had fallen. It was then I revealed I was pushed. I related to them the story. I then apologized for Chris having to see me like this. He ran down along the curve of my cheek, “You’re beautiful,” he said, “I feel better knowing you’re allright.”

I moved my cheek and pressed his hand down against my shoulder, and I rubbed my cheek against his hand. It was as tender as I could be right then. I wanted him to kiss me, and make me feel better.

The door opened and my father walked in. I closed my eyes. I couldn’t watch. I moved my arm to jump back, and pain filled my body.

That was a real cute prank played by Aurora. She healed me, and I fell asleep. And now, it’s the next day, I am repaired, and I am writing.

Apparently, tonight Brendan, his family, and Chris are coming over. Sarah too… She’s bad news… I know she is.

-Dawn