Janus' Record: 5
(Kept by Phonograph)
“I know this will be the hardest thing I will ever have to speak in my life. When I think about it I cry. At my age, crying doesn’t shame me, I don’t care who sees, even my enemies the countless that I have.
“On the second occasion I met my wife, I did something very, very wrong. Using the rash judgment and frustration I held towards her. She wanted to kill her twin sister, and would have gone to any lengths to do this. This included killing innocents, and betraying everyone; Except Aurora.
“Aurora was Jesse’s conscience. Ever present and ever wise, when Aurora was there, Jesse calmed down, thought things out. However without Aurora in her life, she fell prey to her grandfather’s views of the world.
“Her grandfather is an old friend of mine, His name is Beast O’Ciardha. Jesse took his name like my daughter took her mother’s name. Considering that both Moonlit Sun (the title I have been given) and Delia are outdated.
-Laughter-
“Not that O’Ciardha is any better, much harder to pronounce. Forgive me whoever winds up chronicling these journals, I am just trying to prepare myself, and stall as long as I can. But her grandfather, views the world to be a place of constant warfare and no peace, that there is no greater virtue then your own survival even at the cost of everything around you.
“For Jesse, she translated that to mean, since she fell over a boat when she was younger, and thought her sister had pushed her, that her life’s goal was to destroy the person who she assumed tried to kill her when she younger.
“By the time she arrived in America and began to search for her sister, I had found her sister. She had met up with a Dhampir of my bloodline named Rapier d’Epee. Rapier’s goal in life, much like Jesse, was to kill one person, and that person was the one who trained Jesse, The Beast.
“However, Rapier found Page, granddaughter of the Beast, and he would have killed her. They fell in love, it was very beautiful, and that’s a long story, and I would love to recite it some other time. But when it comes down to it, I had much too much riding on Rapier and Page surviving as a couple, and I assisted them.
“This leads to where Jesse found my mansion, hidden away in the mountains. She hadn’t been eating well, he road to revenge left her very little time to eat, and when she did, she insisted that Aurora eat in her stead. I had to force feed her.
“I remember watching her sleep, clearly. She was so peaceful and serene when she slept. Her face mimicked that of an ivory statue of Glorious Rome, or an angel at rest. She fell asleep on the couch, and I moved her next to the woman whose name is known simply as The Dreamer.
“She stirred slightly. I don’t know if she remembers, she rolled in my arms, and she draped her arm over my shoulder, and she pulled herself up, and laid her head on my shoulder.
-Sniffle-
“I’m sorry…Give me a second.
-Pause-
“Okay, she whispered to me. ‘Janus, please don’t leave me alone.’ I didn’t know what it meant back then. I had my heart broken countless times. I had shut my heart off to the emotion she was trying to convey without knowing. I laid her down, and she tossed in her sleep, very uncomfortable.
“I tucked her in, pulling the blanket around her shoulders. At this very time, as soon as I tucked her in, Rapier and Page were in Greece, in Hades, on the other side of the River Styx. Rapier had just been decimated in combat by my sole living family member, Eglantine.
“She was the one who created Rapier, and she ripped him apart before Page’s very eyes. Page was broken, Rapier was as good as dead. I rushed to him, and let him drink of my wrist… And I’m getting sidetracked, regardless, I saved Rapier and Page from what would be their death.
“This leads me back to Jesse, in the day or two I was gone, she one night found herself in my garden. It was nighttime. I was watching her and Aurora from my wall. Aurora knew I was there. I don’t know how she knew, but she knew.
“Jesse had received an emotional letter from her grandfather, and she was crying, she hid her tears from me. I had plans to tell her where her sister was. I also told her that I helped her. Jesse went ballistic. To her, me helping her sister was a betrayal of her trust in me, and she leapt and knocked me to the ground.
“Needless to say, I laughed. It was the first time I was caught off guard for a very long time, and she got angry, and she growled. She was getting ready to change, and rip into me. Now, the conversation, which I cannot recall clearly, was around me saving Page. It ended with me letting it slip that I was told by a ‘being’ to save her, and me covering her in blood.
“My vampiric abilities, like those who share my bloodline, focus on the sacrifice of our own blood for a result, and I made the blood go into her throat I cut off her air. She challenged me. She didn’t react to the loss of her air, she shook her head. In response to something I had said.
“I released her. I took a fighting stance I used to put down young creatures, one who thought it would be easy to defeat me. One arm behind my back. Jesse knew something I didn’t, and she side stepped. Behind her, Aurora threw three bolts of lightning at me. I froze time.
“I had five seconds, and I used them to draw swords, and catch the bolts of lightning and use my body as a conductor to strike Aurora. Jesse and I spoke again. This time she was sure Page wouldn’t have killed her. I was sure Page would have, and I… I used my swords, and my wings, I struck her face with my wings, and I cut into her legs.
“She looked towards Aurora. She was so concerned for Aurora. It was a weakness I was going to exploit, and I grabbed her by her neck and I tossed her across my Garden.
-Pause-
“Sorry… I then sepearated into a thousand bats, and I screeched and I bit and I clawed at her. She screamed in pain… I reformed, and I stood in front of her. ‘Are you ready to submit?’ I asked. ‘Never.’
“I never saw it coming. Aurora embedded her tomahawks into me. Right into my heart. Jesse and Aurora fought while I was a pile of ash. They were fighting. Jesse screamed at Aurora, and that was enough to break Aurora. She cried. Jesse broke down too. I reformed.
“I remember Jesse’s look on her face, when she saw me sitting there. I remember saying, ‘Remember me telling you I can’t die? It’s true.’ I fought her with blood clones next. The fight was over in nearly two moves. The blood clones were a quarter as powerful as me, and they stomped her.
-Sobs-
“I was prepared to kill her. She looked up at me, total fear in her eyes. She had given up. But… I wasn’t done yet… I had a clone grab Aurora, and I was going to kill Aurora. ‘Don’t kill her!’ She cried, I heard it all in her voice, and she began to cry, ‘I’ll do anything, I submit, just, please, don’t kill her.’
“I still wasn’t done, I had the clone cut into Aurora’s throat, ‘Take me!’ she screamed, ‘Torture me, kill me, whatever you feel the best, just don’t hurt her…’ She was broken, her tears fell freely, and she laid there the moonlight reflecting off of her blood.
“Aurora tried to heal her, and I kicked her in her face, sending her to the ground. She leapt towards Jesse and healed her. She would have died for Jesse, and she almost did. I freaked on Jesse, I yelled and I screamed, I called her names, I cursed her.
-Heavy sobs-
“I’m terrible. She looked at me. I could see her broken heart in her eyes. I remember trying to leave, trying to get away, and then she said something about my cold heart. I don’t remember what happened next. I don’t know what I did to her… I don’t know what I said, I don’t know how I hurt her.
-Heavier sobs-
“I remember her telling me, she would die for me. I thought she was joking. I honestly did. I don’t.. I don’t remember anymore. I just remember finding a dried and pressed black rose, one I had given her so long ago, in my hotel, and I remember holding it in my hand, crying. I guess we both didn’t know we were in love.
“I had forgotten the pain of a broken heart, and when I held that rose in my hand, that’s what I was feeling.”
“Janus… Oh Janus, you’re crying.”
-Soft hushing sounds and soft kiss sounds-
“Please don’t cry, Janus… Calm down, talk to me.”
“I’m so sorry Jesse…”
“Janus please calm down.”
-Two sets of sobs.-
“Just come, Please don’t leave me alone, Janus. Come to bed… I can hold you there…”
-Click-
“I know this will be the hardest thing I will ever have to speak in my life. When I think about it I cry. At my age, crying doesn’t shame me, I don’t care who sees, even my enemies the countless that I have.
“On the second occasion I met my wife, I did something very, very wrong. Using the rash judgment and frustration I held towards her. She wanted to kill her twin sister, and would have gone to any lengths to do this. This included killing innocents, and betraying everyone; Except Aurora.
“Aurora was Jesse’s conscience. Ever present and ever wise, when Aurora was there, Jesse calmed down, thought things out. However without Aurora in her life, she fell prey to her grandfather’s views of the world.
“Her grandfather is an old friend of mine, His name is Beast O’Ciardha. Jesse took his name like my daughter took her mother’s name. Considering that both Moonlit Sun (the title I have been given) and Delia are outdated.
-Laughter-
“Not that O’Ciardha is any better, much harder to pronounce. Forgive me whoever winds up chronicling these journals, I am just trying to prepare myself, and stall as long as I can. But her grandfather, views the world to be a place of constant warfare and no peace, that there is no greater virtue then your own survival even at the cost of everything around you.
“For Jesse, she translated that to mean, since she fell over a boat when she was younger, and thought her sister had pushed her, that her life’s goal was to destroy the person who she assumed tried to kill her when she younger.
“By the time she arrived in America and began to search for her sister, I had found her sister. She had met up with a Dhampir of my bloodline named Rapier d’Epee. Rapier’s goal in life, much like Jesse, was to kill one person, and that person was the one who trained Jesse, The Beast.
“However, Rapier found Page, granddaughter of the Beast, and he would have killed her. They fell in love, it was very beautiful, and that’s a long story, and I would love to recite it some other time. But when it comes down to it, I had much too much riding on Rapier and Page surviving as a couple, and I assisted them.
“This leads to where Jesse found my mansion, hidden away in the mountains. She hadn’t been eating well, he road to revenge left her very little time to eat, and when she did, she insisted that Aurora eat in her stead. I had to force feed her.
“I remember watching her sleep, clearly. She was so peaceful and serene when she slept. Her face mimicked that of an ivory statue of Glorious Rome, or an angel at rest. She fell asleep on the couch, and I moved her next to the woman whose name is known simply as The Dreamer.
“She stirred slightly. I don’t know if she remembers, she rolled in my arms, and she draped her arm over my shoulder, and she pulled herself up, and laid her head on my shoulder.
-Sniffle-
“I’m sorry…Give me a second.
-Pause-
“Okay, she whispered to me. ‘Janus, please don’t leave me alone.’ I didn’t know what it meant back then. I had my heart broken countless times. I had shut my heart off to the emotion she was trying to convey without knowing. I laid her down, and she tossed in her sleep, very uncomfortable.
“I tucked her in, pulling the blanket around her shoulders. At this very time, as soon as I tucked her in, Rapier and Page were in Greece, in Hades, on the other side of the River Styx. Rapier had just been decimated in combat by my sole living family member, Eglantine.
“She was the one who created Rapier, and she ripped him apart before Page’s very eyes. Page was broken, Rapier was as good as dead. I rushed to him, and let him drink of my wrist… And I’m getting sidetracked, regardless, I saved Rapier and Page from what would be their death.
“This leads me back to Jesse, in the day or two I was gone, she one night found herself in my garden. It was nighttime. I was watching her and Aurora from my wall. Aurora knew I was there. I don’t know how she knew, but she knew.
“Jesse had received an emotional letter from her grandfather, and she was crying, she hid her tears from me. I had plans to tell her where her sister was. I also told her that I helped her. Jesse went ballistic. To her, me helping her sister was a betrayal of her trust in me, and she leapt and knocked me to the ground.
“Needless to say, I laughed. It was the first time I was caught off guard for a very long time, and she got angry, and she growled. She was getting ready to change, and rip into me. Now, the conversation, which I cannot recall clearly, was around me saving Page. It ended with me letting it slip that I was told by a ‘being’ to save her, and me covering her in blood.
“My vampiric abilities, like those who share my bloodline, focus on the sacrifice of our own blood for a result, and I made the blood go into her throat I cut off her air. She challenged me. She didn’t react to the loss of her air, she shook her head. In response to something I had said.
“I released her. I took a fighting stance I used to put down young creatures, one who thought it would be easy to defeat me. One arm behind my back. Jesse knew something I didn’t, and she side stepped. Behind her, Aurora threw three bolts of lightning at me. I froze time.
“I had five seconds, and I used them to draw swords, and catch the bolts of lightning and use my body as a conductor to strike Aurora. Jesse and I spoke again. This time she was sure Page wouldn’t have killed her. I was sure Page would have, and I… I used my swords, and my wings, I struck her face with my wings, and I cut into her legs.
“She looked towards Aurora. She was so concerned for Aurora. It was a weakness I was going to exploit, and I grabbed her by her neck and I tossed her across my Garden.
-Pause-
“Sorry… I then sepearated into a thousand bats, and I screeched and I bit and I clawed at her. She screamed in pain… I reformed, and I stood in front of her. ‘Are you ready to submit?’ I asked. ‘Never.’
“I never saw it coming. Aurora embedded her tomahawks into me. Right into my heart. Jesse and Aurora fought while I was a pile of ash. They were fighting. Jesse screamed at Aurora, and that was enough to break Aurora. She cried. Jesse broke down too. I reformed.
“I remember Jesse’s look on her face, when she saw me sitting there. I remember saying, ‘Remember me telling you I can’t die? It’s true.’ I fought her with blood clones next. The fight was over in nearly two moves. The blood clones were a quarter as powerful as me, and they stomped her.
-Sobs-
“I was prepared to kill her. She looked up at me, total fear in her eyes. She had given up. But… I wasn’t done yet… I had a clone grab Aurora, and I was going to kill Aurora. ‘Don’t kill her!’ She cried, I heard it all in her voice, and she began to cry, ‘I’ll do anything, I submit, just, please, don’t kill her.’
“I still wasn’t done, I had the clone cut into Aurora’s throat, ‘Take me!’ she screamed, ‘Torture me, kill me, whatever you feel the best, just don’t hurt her…’ She was broken, her tears fell freely, and she laid there the moonlight reflecting off of her blood.
“Aurora tried to heal her, and I kicked her in her face, sending her to the ground. She leapt towards Jesse and healed her. She would have died for Jesse, and she almost did. I freaked on Jesse, I yelled and I screamed, I called her names, I cursed her.
-Heavy sobs-
“I’m terrible. She looked at me. I could see her broken heart in her eyes. I remember trying to leave, trying to get away, and then she said something about my cold heart. I don’t remember what happened next. I don’t know what I did to her… I don’t know what I said, I don’t know how I hurt her.
-Heavier sobs-
“I remember her telling me, she would die for me. I thought she was joking. I honestly did. I don’t.. I don’t remember anymore. I just remember finding a dried and pressed black rose, one I had given her so long ago, in my hotel, and I remember holding it in my hand, crying. I guess we both didn’t know we were in love.
“I had forgotten the pain of a broken heart, and when I held that rose in my hand, that’s what I was feeling.”
“Janus… Oh Janus, you’re crying.”
-Soft hushing sounds and soft kiss sounds-
“Please don’t cry, Janus… Calm down, talk to me.”
“I’m so sorry Jesse…”
“Janus please calm down.”
-Two sets of sobs.-
“Just come, Please don’t leave me alone, Janus. Come to bed… I can hold you there…”
-Click-
posted by Janus at 2:11 PM
2 Comments:
A good cry cleanes the soul....
A good cry...especially on New Year's Eve.
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