Summer's Journal: Twenty-Ninth Entry

No-one in my family knew about this girl, no-one had ever heard of the feelings I was feeling towards her. My father mused a Siren, but the problem is, a Siren would be liked by people, not despised. Anything that is pretty enough to evoke jealousy doesn’t invoke blind hatred.

I was getting angry with myself, especially this morning. Whenever I don’t know something, I get frustrated. I obsess on it until I find the answer. Unfortunately, the one got the brunt of this anger was Chris.

He saw me this morning and he hugged me, and I pushed him away. I just didn’t want to be affectionate with anyone, I wanted to know the answer. He was hurt, I could see it in his eyes.

“Summer, what’s wrong?” I released an angered sigh, “I don’t know what she is,” was my response, and that caused him to get angry, “Why is it so important to you? You can’t know everything.” I jumped at his tone, “Because I want to know!” “Summer, that’s very, very ignorant. Knowledge isn’t everything, its worthless to know everything because then what is there to discover!” He grabbed my wrist.

Normally, him grabbing my wrist wouldn’t have bothered me. From my point of view, at that very moment, he was trying to make me submit. I know it was silly, he was actually trying to get me to stay so we could resolve this fight.

My wolf side came out, and I spun my wrist and grabbed his. I held it tightly in my grip and I stood in his face. A low growl erupted from my mouth, and He took a step down. “I don’t like you like this,” he said softly, “Maybe you should call me when you find out what you need to know.”

I felt, at that moment dominate, and I was proud, but looking back on it, I had very few moments that were that low; That disturbing. I made the one person in the world who loved me and could be my true love submit to me because of my nature.

When he tried to pry away from me, I grabbed him tighter, and pulled him closer to me, I remember feeling he was mine, and I didn’t want him to go, and he had to do what I wanted. He then called me the name my cousin calls me because it’s the affectionate name my mother gave me, “Baby-Doll.” Instead of shocking me out of it like he wanted, it made me want to make him submit even more.

The low growl in my throat erupted from my mouth again and he realized he had done wrong. He turned his cheek to me, he revealed his neck. I pulled his arm so it was behind my body, it was an awkward movement, but it produced the desired result, my chin rested firmly over his neck.

Not having the fangs of the wolf I dug my chin into his neck. I felt him groan in pain. I should reinstate here, that Chris is a mage, not a werewolf. I am a mage, not a werewolf, but my mother is a werewolf, so I have primal urges like she does. Chris’ next action surprised me, looking back on it, but at the time, I felt good when he did it.

He whimpered. He knew what he was doing, and his whimpering meant I had won. He knew I wasn’t going to let him get away. I released my grip on his wrist, and he didn’t dare move.

He whimpered again, and I felt even more pride. Finally I lifted my chin and I looked at him. He looked at me through the corner of his eyes, “Summer; please… let me go.” I cast my eyes up to him, and he turned slowly to face me.

He took a step back, and I growled. So he stood still. He then reached into his pocket, and he grunted softly. My head turned in confusion. He brought his finger out, there was blood on it. My eyes shifted. I focused on the blood and a drop hit the ground. He held it out to me. I grabbed his wrist, so hard he dropped to his knees. I knelt with him, and I placed his finger in my mouth.

I felt the blood on my tongue, the sweet blood, Chris’ blood. It is important that I specifically state it was Chris’ blood because up into that point, in my brain he didn’t register as Chris, he registered as something I owned. I pulled his finger out of my mouth quickly.

“Summer?” he asked softly. I nodded. “Who am I?” “Chris,” I said softly. He spoke, “Do you know what you did?” I shook my head no. “You made me submit to you.” A salty tear formed in my eye and dropped down my cheek, it burnt me. “Summer Dawn,” he said, “Are you, yourself?” I nodded. I looked at his neck, there was a slowly forming bruise on it.

I kissed that spot softly, leaving a black lipstick mark on it. I looked at him and cast my eyes down. I pulled back, and I left, unable to face him. I skipped History Class so I wouldn’t have to be behind him. I knew I would probably try to lick his neck to help the wound clot better. Even though the wound wasn’t open and didn’t need to clot.

I didn’t see the girl. I couldn’t find my answer.

As I sit here, bathed in moonlight, absorbing her touch, I realized why I did that today. The first reason is, it’s a full moon. By nature on a full moon anyone who has any werewolf blood in their family, anywhere, get more active, does odd things, and becomes maybe angrier then they should.

The second reason is Chris. My body has lived sixteen years without the release of hormones that having someone you care about be close to you and hold you, and even hug you. With those hormones they throw my body out of balance.

Being as bright and full of common sense as my boyfriend is, he figured out the way to wake me from my lupinish side. He tried to awaken my vampire side. Knowing that its not as bestial or uncontrollable as my werewolf side.

I called him. I cried, I broke down on the phone. I pleaded and begged for his forgiveness. He accepted, and then to ease over the tension and sadness that was there moments before, he jested, “Remind me the night before a full moon, okay?”

-Dawn

(Sorry it has been so long, around the holidays is a hectic time, expect something Christmas eve, okay?)