Summer's Journal: Thirtieth Entry
Sometimes the answers we find are better left unfound.
I know what the girl is, I found out today. I was bored, and rather then thinking I caught up on my reading. I was two or three books behind because of the nights talking with Chris on the phone. I read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Then I read Ovid’s Metamorphosis.
It took me an hour or two, and I realized after reading both of them. What the girl was; at least where she came from. I took hold of the necklace that allowed me to appear at my Cousin’s house. I ran to the quad of the school. She wasn’t there. I had no idea where she could be.
I knew she would want to be somewhere where she could not be seen by a lot of people. I went to the woods nearby the Track Field and the Football Field. I walked slowly through them.
I heard her yelp and she tried to run away from me. I chased after her, my mind and body inflamed by the hatred and Jealousy I always felt around her. I leapt towards her and tripped her up, and she fell to the ground. I turned her over and brought my elbow towards her cheek.
She caught my elbow, and then I tried to strike her with the other, which she caught. She rolled me over and pinned me to the ground. I feel so ashamed of the things I called her when she had me pinned to the ground. I could see her wanting to cry.
I closed my eyes tightly, “You’re not human,” I said, “You’re not a vampire, a mage, or a werewolf. You’re no of the sylvan, angels or demons. Someone made you, out of stone or ivory.” She released my wrists.
“Ivory.” She responded, “I don’t know who made me, they brought me to life and left me to fend for myself.” I spoke softly, “Why do I hate you? Why do I want to be you?” She opened my eyes so I looked at her, there was a mask around her, when I looked past it I saw the ivory brought to life, she was beautiful, but not as pretty as whatever it was made her.
“You want to be me because of my beauty, I know I’m beautiful, but I would give up this unrealistic beauty if I could find someone to touch me, to hold me. To take me in their arms and tell me I’m their own.”
I spoke softly turning my head from her, “I don’t mean to be mean to you, I want to help you.” She responded, “I know you don’t, you’re the first person to be nice to me, ever. I don’t have a soul,” she said, “Even you vampires have a soul, I am lacking, and everyone hates me because I don’t have a soul. Maybe if I did, I could fall in love.”
“It’s Christmas tomorrow,” I said, “I can speak with spirits. Maybe?” She smiled I felt it, “I don’t understand.” I spoke softly, “If you are willing, I can talk to a spirit, one who is benign yet trapped on earth for some reason. It would give them a second chance and you some form of a soul in your body. It would almost be a possession, if you worked it out right, you both could be conscious and make decisions together.”
She hugged me tightly, I made sure not to look at her as I spoke, “I can also get you a kiss. Before I get you a soul. But you can’t be scared or upset by his reaction.” She hugged me even tighter and she squealed. I pulled away from her, knowing I couldn’t look at her without getting angry.
I picked up my cell phone and I called my cousin. I explained the situation to him. I explained everything and he ran over. Once he saw me and he saw her he immediately covered his eyes, and walked towards me, “You may not feel anything,” I said, “Do not look at her. She’s gorgeous Brendan, but you’ll get angry, okay?”
“Its cool,” he said smoothly, “I’d be more then happy to kiss anymore of your friends, even if they are made of Ivory.” I watched Brendan fumble towards her without looking. She caught him.
“Hi,” he said, “I’m Brendan.” She spoke gently shying away from him. I was making sure to look at them from behind Brendan’s head. “I-I don’t have a name,” she said, “But you can name me if you like.”
I could tell Brendan was thinking and then he spoke, “Contressa,” he said. “I like it, Brendan, I just want you to know,” she said, “This is my first kiss ever, and I know you won’t love me afterwards or anything like that, but I will always hold this special in my heart.”
Brendan spoke, “I will try and make it special then.” He met her lips. She was unsure of whether she should hug him. He wrapped his arms gently around her, and she responded in kind, and after many seconds they parted. Brendan got angry at her. I knew he would, and I rushed up and I grabbed him. I pulled him back and covered his eyes.
Contressa released a sigh of pure joy, “Please, can you give me a soul?” I nodded, and Brendan calmed down, “Summer,” he said, “What happened? I’m sorry,” he said to her. Brendan told me after it all had happened that she was cold to the touch, and that she was like a puppet, only bending to what he was doing. He said she felt like supple marble.
So I spoke into the wind, through a bloody mouth, seeking a lost soul. I waited for several moments and finally a spirit arrived. She was a young girl, probably anabaptized, who died a violent death, she was crying.
I knelt next to her, “Can you understand me?” I asked her. Brendan was trying to see the spirit but couldn’t and Contressa was on cloud nine and didn’t even notice. “Yes,” she spoke in spirit-tongue.
“What is your purpose?” Black tears streaked down her cheeks, “I want to go to heaven with mommy.” I reached out to touch her, “I know how that can happen if you are a good girl.” Her eyes brightened, she looked at me, “Do you see that pretty girl?” I asked.
The little girl nodded, “I know she is much older then you, but she needs you to be inside of her. See she doesn’t have a chance to go to heaven, but if you go into her, you have a chance to go to heaven and so does she, but you have to work together.”
“Like me and little brother did when I was still alive?” I nodded, “Sort of, sweet child, see she needs to you help her make the right decisions and help her live a good life.”
“Like Jiminy Cricket!” She exclaimed, “Yes. See if you go inside of her, you will start to grow up again. And then maybe you can have a husband and kids, with her as your partner. Then if you are good people together you can go to heaven together, you would look like her. But I’m sure your mommy would know who you are.”
The little girl smiled, “I like that idea. I will try.” I spoke, “I need to take your hand. It won’t hurt you until you get inside of her, okay?”
The little girl extended her hand to me, and I took it, and I walked over to Contressa. I grabbed one of her hands, and I pulled them together. I closed my eyes. Blood filled my mouth, and I bridged a connection, one between Contressa and the little girl. I ran my index finger over certain lines in Contressa’s body and bound the little girl’s spirit within Contressa.
I looked at Contressa, she was very beautiful still, but not as beautiful as before. She was very white, like soft ivory, I could swear I saw her blood moving in her arteries under her white skin. I smiled at her, “I don’t want to kill you.” She smiled back, “Thank you so much, how can I ever repay you?”
“Be a good human, take care of people who are weaker then you, and always listen to that voice inside your head telling you to do better things.”
Contressa nodded and she walked away. Brendan walked up beside me, “So you gave her a soul?” I smiled, “Sort of, she is barrowing one. And maybe one day they will be one.” Brendan spoke, “Everyone thinks we are damned, you’re whatever you are, I’m a werewolf, you’re dad’s a vampire, everyone thinks we are the cursed walking the earth. I think I got it figured out though Sums, I think we are only damned if we act like we are.”
“I often think the same thing, Brendan. I don’t think we are damned, I just think those who came before us were.” He looked at Contressa walking away, “Do you think there are more of her out there, without souls living in shells, trying to find something to call a soul?”
“I hope not Brendan, I hope not.”
-Dawn
(Merry Christmas, from this little Clan of Misfits to your little Clan of Misfits, may it snow there, it certainly hasn’t here.)
I know what the girl is, I found out today. I was bored, and rather then thinking I caught up on my reading. I was two or three books behind because of the nights talking with Chris on the phone. I read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Then I read Ovid’s Metamorphosis.
It took me an hour or two, and I realized after reading both of them. What the girl was; at least where she came from. I took hold of the necklace that allowed me to appear at my Cousin’s house. I ran to the quad of the school. She wasn’t there. I had no idea where she could be.
I knew she would want to be somewhere where she could not be seen by a lot of people. I went to the woods nearby the Track Field and the Football Field. I walked slowly through them.
I heard her yelp and she tried to run away from me. I chased after her, my mind and body inflamed by the hatred and Jealousy I always felt around her. I leapt towards her and tripped her up, and she fell to the ground. I turned her over and brought my elbow towards her cheek.
She caught my elbow, and then I tried to strike her with the other, which she caught. She rolled me over and pinned me to the ground. I feel so ashamed of the things I called her when she had me pinned to the ground. I could see her wanting to cry.
I closed my eyes tightly, “You’re not human,” I said, “You’re not a vampire, a mage, or a werewolf. You’re no of the sylvan, angels or demons. Someone made you, out of stone or ivory.” She released my wrists.
“Ivory.” She responded, “I don’t know who made me, they brought me to life and left me to fend for myself.” I spoke softly, “Why do I hate you? Why do I want to be you?” She opened my eyes so I looked at her, there was a mask around her, when I looked past it I saw the ivory brought to life, she was beautiful, but not as pretty as whatever it was made her.
“You want to be me because of my beauty, I know I’m beautiful, but I would give up this unrealistic beauty if I could find someone to touch me, to hold me. To take me in their arms and tell me I’m their own.”
I spoke softly turning my head from her, “I don’t mean to be mean to you, I want to help you.” She responded, “I know you don’t, you’re the first person to be nice to me, ever. I don’t have a soul,” she said, “Even you vampires have a soul, I am lacking, and everyone hates me because I don’t have a soul. Maybe if I did, I could fall in love.”
“It’s Christmas tomorrow,” I said, “I can speak with spirits. Maybe?” She smiled I felt it, “I don’t understand.” I spoke softly, “If you are willing, I can talk to a spirit, one who is benign yet trapped on earth for some reason. It would give them a second chance and you some form of a soul in your body. It would almost be a possession, if you worked it out right, you both could be conscious and make decisions together.”
She hugged me tightly, I made sure not to look at her as I spoke, “I can also get you a kiss. Before I get you a soul. But you can’t be scared or upset by his reaction.” She hugged me even tighter and she squealed. I pulled away from her, knowing I couldn’t look at her without getting angry.
I picked up my cell phone and I called my cousin. I explained the situation to him. I explained everything and he ran over. Once he saw me and he saw her he immediately covered his eyes, and walked towards me, “You may not feel anything,” I said, “Do not look at her. She’s gorgeous Brendan, but you’ll get angry, okay?”
“Its cool,” he said smoothly, “I’d be more then happy to kiss anymore of your friends, even if they are made of Ivory.” I watched Brendan fumble towards her without looking. She caught him.
“Hi,” he said, “I’m Brendan.” She spoke gently shying away from him. I was making sure to look at them from behind Brendan’s head. “I-I don’t have a name,” she said, “But you can name me if you like.”
I could tell Brendan was thinking and then he spoke, “Contressa,” he said. “I like it, Brendan, I just want you to know,” she said, “This is my first kiss ever, and I know you won’t love me afterwards or anything like that, but I will always hold this special in my heart.”
Brendan spoke, “I will try and make it special then.” He met her lips. She was unsure of whether she should hug him. He wrapped his arms gently around her, and she responded in kind, and after many seconds they parted. Brendan got angry at her. I knew he would, and I rushed up and I grabbed him. I pulled him back and covered his eyes.
Contressa released a sigh of pure joy, “Please, can you give me a soul?” I nodded, and Brendan calmed down, “Summer,” he said, “What happened? I’m sorry,” he said to her. Brendan told me after it all had happened that she was cold to the touch, and that she was like a puppet, only bending to what he was doing. He said she felt like supple marble.
So I spoke into the wind, through a bloody mouth, seeking a lost soul. I waited for several moments and finally a spirit arrived. She was a young girl, probably anabaptized, who died a violent death, she was crying.
I knelt next to her, “Can you understand me?” I asked her. Brendan was trying to see the spirit but couldn’t and Contressa was on cloud nine and didn’t even notice. “Yes,” she spoke in spirit-tongue.
“What is your purpose?” Black tears streaked down her cheeks, “I want to go to heaven with mommy.” I reached out to touch her, “I know how that can happen if you are a good girl.” Her eyes brightened, she looked at me, “Do you see that pretty girl?” I asked.
The little girl nodded, “I know she is much older then you, but she needs you to be inside of her. See she doesn’t have a chance to go to heaven, but if you go into her, you have a chance to go to heaven and so does she, but you have to work together.”
“Like me and little brother did when I was still alive?” I nodded, “Sort of, sweet child, see she needs to you help her make the right decisions and help her live a good life.”
“Like Jiminy Cricket!” She exclaimed, “Yes. See if you go inside of her, you will start to grow up again. And then maybe you can have a husband and kids, with her as your partner. Then if you are good people together you can go to heaven together, you would look like her. But I’m sure your mommy would know who you are.”
The little girl smiled, “I like that idea. I will try.” I spoke, “I need to take your hand. It won’t hurt you until you get inside of her, okay?”
The little girl extended her hand to me, and I took it, and I walked over to Contressa. I grabbed one of her hands, and I pulled them together. I closed my eyes. Blood filled my mouth, and I bridged a connection, one between Contressa and the little girl. I ran my index finger over certain lines in Contressa’s body and bound the little girl’s spirit within Contressa.
I looked at Contressa, she was very beautiful still, but not as beautiful as before. She was very white, like soft ivory, I could swear I saw her blood moving in her arteries under her white skin. I smiled at her, “I don’t want to kill you.” She smiled back, “Thank you so much, how can I ever repay you?”
“Be a good human, take care of people who are weaker then you, and always listen to that voice inside your head telling you to do better things.”
Contressa nodded and she walked away. Brendan walked up beside me, “So you gave her a soul?” I smiled, “Sort of, she is barrowing one. And maybe one day they will be one.” Brendan spoke, “Everyone thinks we are damned, you’re whatever you are, I’m a werewolf, you’re dad’s a vampire, everyone thinks we are the cursed walking the earth. I think I got it figured out though Sums, I think we are only damned if we act like we are.”
“I often think the same thing, Brendan. I don’t think we are damned, I just think those who came before us were.” He looked at Contressa walking away, “Do you think there are more of her out there, without souls living in shells, trying to find something to call a soul?”
“I hope not Brendan, I hope not.”
-Dawn
(Merry Christmas, from this little Clan of Misfits to your little Clan of Misfits, may it snow there, it certainly hasn’t here.)
posted by Summer Dawn O'Ciardha at 12:34 AM
1 Comments:
It must be hard to get a soul on Christmas Eve, especially if the shops are closed.
Have a wondeful Christmas, Summer.
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