Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Operation: Super Powered Pets

(A Reposting from Next Top Hero)

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When Superman said, “Super Powered Pets” I knew I was set, I commune with nature daily, and that’s the one department I can deal with… Pets!

I skipped into the room. I saw them all. There ere super powered bats, speedy dogs, giant kitties, acid tongue toads, giant monkeys… I didn’t know which one to pick…

So I randomly grabbed four of them. I had to… I didn’t know which ones I should pick. I ran from the building as giddy as a schoolgirl. I took them to my little room in the Hall of Justice.

I set them down and got a look at them… A weird song played and singing accompanied, “My Little Pony – Apocalypse Pony”

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Oh no… What have I gotten myself into?

By the time I pulled Death and War off of Pestilence, and I stopped famine from eating all of the other’s food. I was tired, I blinked and Pestilence had infected War, and War was trying to get Death to attack Famine.

I couldn’t talk to them, so I had to take a different form. I knew only one person I could become that would control these beasts.

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Seth Green.

“Now boys, boys!” They looked at me, and Death tried to reap me. I moved out of the way and he went headfirst into a tree, and the tree became blighted and died.

“Look, I’m stuck with you. You’re stuck with me.”

Pestilence coughed and I started sneezing. After blowing my nose, I looked at them, War was stabbing Famine again and again.

“Look. I know you guys like mischief and mayhem. Frankly, I know you want to cause the end of the world, I don’t want that, I like the world.” They all turned to me. Famine spat at me, and I felt hungry, War started stabbing my leg, Death tried touching me, and Pestilence created a disease cloud from his nostrils.

This wasn’t turning out the way I hoped, “I can turn you into, Life, Peace, Plenty and Health, So Help Me Great Spirit.” They all fell into line quickly, “Now, you didn’t let me finish. If you promise to not destroy the world, I will let you cause as much mischief and mayhem among my fellow contestants as you want.”

They got into a group, and they started whispering, Death looked over his shoulder at me, and then went back to whispering. They turned around and Death nodded his head, “So we have an accord?”

All four of them nodded, “You promise… You promise not to cause the apocalypse?”

The music played again, “My Little Pony – Apocalypse Ponies” They nodded, “Good Let’s start in Alphabetical Order… Anakin Skywalker.”

They laughed evilly; Seth Green and the Apocalypse Ponies will rule this competition!

I had Pestilence leave some hair loss in Anakin’s Dapper Dan.

Blockade Boy Got a double dose of bad when Pestilence and Famine left a really special burrito in his fridge.

I let War leave glass on Carter’s bed!

Death left a nice big pile of Destruction on Jan’s pillow. That would be nice for her hair.

I let Famine get rid of all of Noel’s cat food, Muhahahah!

Thousand Faces got it, Death and Famine destroyed two of her- Curses… I got carried away with the evil and let the Apocalypse Ponies destroy part of my room. I shaped them a blighted-bone-blood-lava ears incased in obsidian so they can only get out when I let them out.

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Apocalypse Ponies ruled by Seth Green – Success?

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Operation: Defend the City

(Reposting from Next Top Hero)

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I am a nature mage. I just needed to remind myself and whoever else was reading of that. The main problem with the challenge? Fighting spaceships. For some reason, there is just something that is off about that to me.

I mean I could summon a storm, but electrical attacks would most likely charge up whatever is in those things. Right?

Ground troops? No big. That’s more my style. Raiding a fortress? I can handle that too. But Ships… That’s really bad.

My fool-proof plan came to me after I communed with nature. I left the building and I grabbed the closest animal I could. It happened to be a bee. I held it in my hand. I focused my magic into it.

What happened first was the creature crawled out of my hand, as a lizard. The next thing it became was a komodo dragon. Then it grew reptilian like wings. It burped and a little bit of fire came from its mouth. I love DNA altering magic. You can have so much fun; especially at parties.

That’s when the ships came. Thankfully they were of relative size. About the size of a van. They were fighters, and they were firing on the city. I pumped a great deal of my magic into the creature on the ground, and it became the size I wanted. He was a dragon. I ordered him to take out the ships.

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That has to be the weirdest thing anyone has ever seen… A DRAGON fighting off UFO’s. My family would never believe this in a million years.

With the fire breath, and the body that was a lot larger then the UFO’s the Dragon just would breath fire on one, slam its body into another, then bit down on another. Maybe the ships wouldn’t be as hard as I thought they would.

Then, they concentrated fire on my dragon. He dodged, but as each ship hit the ground, more and more aliens came out. I held my tomahawks ready, blew my lock of hair out of my eyes, and I went to cut into them. Then they spit acid at me.

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Three more ships dropped and thirty more acid spitting, fighting aliens appeared.

Then my dragon landed on them all, and this green ooze came out from under him. He grabbed one in its mouth and bit down hard. Then he burped.

I rushed towards the citadel, my dragon following me as if I was a dog.
It was a just a large golden spaceship, and I walked onto it. I noticed this from somewhere… Somewhere sinister… Somewhere in the past. Television… I had seen this on Television.

When I saw the giant picture on the wall, I knew where I had seen it, and I knew what I had to do. I had to take on the form of a rabbit… Not just any rabbit, a bunny. For I was dealing with a Martian.

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My outfit fell off, as I sprouted fur everywhere, I rose shaking a little bit. I had to find my tattoo and my deformity before I did anything. My tattoo was odd colored fur at the bottom of my foot, and the my deformity, thank the great spirit, was a large gash in one of my ears.

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I formed a carrot out of mid-air and I walked forward, exploring nibbling on it. Hoppity-Hoppity-Hoppity…

Then this guy held a gun at my face.

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“Awww” chomp chomp chomp “What’s up doc?”

“I am very, very busy; destroying the world is hard work you know?”

“Which world are ya destroying here?” I asked.

“Why earth of course…”

Chomp Chomp, “Whatchu gonna do it with?

“My annihilator ray,” he held up a stick of dynamite.

“Looks dangerous doc, you better let me hold it.”

“Oh-Why thank you furry earth creature.”

He handed it to me, and I started running away, he turned, saw, and said, “You’re making me very angry.”

Then he began to shoot at me. Little green rays whizzed past me, but it was easy to do because for some reason he was only firing on a single plane. I would jump and duck, I didn’t even have to weave.

I didn’t know what to do with the stick of dynamite, so I threw it. The martian guy ran and dove and grabbed it.

I grabbed a carrot from midair, and I walked over to him, “Hey doc, that thing looks pretty dangerous.”

“It is, it is,” he said.

“Why don’t I hold it while you get up?”

“Oh… That’s nice of you here…”

He handed me the little stick of dynamite, and I took off running again, he shot me again. This gag was going to get old fast. How many times can a clever rabbit outdo a legion of foes before it became boring… Apparently never.

I had no idea where I was running, but when I came out of the ship, I ran into my dragon. He saw a really big bunny. I saw a dragon’s mouth and tongue. I threw the little stick of dynamite down his stomach, and I wiggled my way out, and I was covered in slobber.

When the stick of dynamite exploded, my dragon’s stomach grew really big, and then shrunk, and he spit out smoke. The best part, was he took out his rage on the next available object. The Martian and his ship.

Stop the Earth Invasion - Complete.

All it took was a dragon, a rabbit, and a carrot.

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